Sunday, 31 March 2013

March 31 - Sunday Thoughts

It's Easter Sunday, I used to know what that meant but now all I remember is that I need to get chocolate for the littles in my family.

When I was a little myself it was the one day I knew my parents would be in church with me. It is the day the whole of the Christian religion is based on. The man called Jesus of Nazareth was hung on a cross until he died, then he was buried in a tomb with a big stone in front of it. Three days later which would actually be tomorrow but is celebrated today his mother or his girlfriend, I was never sure went to the tomb to grief and found the stone removed and the body gone. A little after that he is seen walking into town alive & well. He was beleived that he came back from the dead and that made him a god, since the people in question only beleived in one god it was assumed that Jesus was his son sent down to help mankind redeem themselves. As such it was the day that ALL christians celebrated, not just the faithful who went to church every week.

Do I beleive in Jesus or his father? I would have to say not really, not as such. A lot of what they stand for, truth, honesty, integrity, those things I beleive in. That there is a great spiritual presense that watches our every move and thought, in that context , no. That we may be the product of some bizarre science experiment, well maybe I could get behind that. That God sent his son to earth to save us, not really. We all need something to beleive in though and I do beleive that once there might have been another race or level of beings that looked after us. I think though that they are no longer as active as they once were, there are just too many of us and all the senseless deaths would quickly ruin even the most generous of souls.

So ends my speech for the day. Hope your Easter is a Happy one

Saturday, 30 March 2013

March 30 - March in Review

A month of memories
The first image is me. The second is of my daughter and Bud. Below them are photos of Junior, & Bud. The first photo in the last row includes Shorty [GD#1] & the boys.

Friday, 29 March 2013

NABLOPOMO- Day 29

What new risk have you decided to take after thinking about risk all month?

I took the risk that my daughter and SIL would step up and help me train their son today but he is back in pull- ups and I am exhausted.

I have almost made it to the end of 30 days without missing a single day though some like today I send late. I haven't added myself to the blogroll for April yet but will do that tonight. If I can do it once I can certainly do it twice and next month looks like it will be fun, fun, fun. You will see, what I have planned on the first.

The risk calendar I am working on may not be ready on time but I will try to put some time into finishing it tomorrow so it can be published either tomorrow or Sunday, the thing is the professor is coming tomorrow and I have promised myself I will spend a lot of time with him. The last time he was down I basically ignored him and I felt bad afterwards.

We are doing Easter tomorrow instead of Sunday because the professor (poppa to the kids) is bringing Easter surprises so my daughter decided she would make a day of it. Considering that poppa isn't planning to get it until I can go with him wasn't made clear to her I guess.

Finally I am working on my first ever short story, I hope to have it in second draft by the end of April. Perhaps I will share it here and gather your comments.

My graphic project for April is going to be an infographic, my first ever, about poetry. If you are not sure what an infographic is check a few out here at my Pinterest


Thursday, 28 March 2013

NABLOPOMO- Day 28

Rambam said, "The risk of a wrong decision is preferable to the terror of indecision." Would you rather be in a state of indecision or accepting the consequences of a wrong decision?

If I must choose between indecision and consequeces of a wrong decision, I would rather accept the consequences. Indecision or going where the wind takes you can have you ending up in a worse spot than you were already in while a wrong decision can be corrected or lessened because you are able to accept that you made a mistake and admit to it. Strangely admitting to a mistake seems to make others less hostile to you.

I am not sure how that works but I think it has to do with stepping up to the plate or manning up to an error thus showing that you are aware of the problem and are working towards correcting it. If you just go with the flow you are apt to say I don't know how I got here, which instantly makes people hostile because it appears that you are not making an effort at all.

At least that's how I see it.

Wednesday, 27 March 2013

NABLOPOMO- Day 27

Theodore Roosevelt said, "No man is worth his salt who is not ready at all times to risk his well-being, to risk his body, to risk his life, in a great cause." What great cause would be worth any risk for you?

It seems that I do not feel any cause is worth the sacrifice of myself body, mind or soul. It seems to me that the cause would have to be monumental and earth-shattering, like the end of the world.

I have causes don't get me wrong, anything that disenfranchises children or women is a cause I would fight for but I would not sacrifice myself for it. A sacrifice of everything includes the end of my life and honestly how can I help others if I am dead?

Mr Roosevelt was speaking as a warrior would I think and I am many things but I am not a warrior. If I can accomplish my goal with out harming anyone including myself then that is the path I am going to take. I think if more people thought that way that maybe one day we could talk our way to world peace and plenty for all.


Tuesday, 26 March 2013

NABLOPOMO- Day 26

Discuss this famous Anais Nin quote: "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."

Strangly given that I am over five decades old I do not beleive I have reached this point yet. Hmmm that is all I want to say on this subject today, maybe I'll revisit it again later in the year

Monday, 25 March 2013

NABLOPOMO- Day 25

Do you like getting up to speak in front of a crowd? Will you submit this year for Voice of the Year?

I have actually become more at ease speaking in front of a crowd over the past few years. I started out going to a weekly Toastmasters meeting and from there I did various fund raisers and MC'ing at private parties. I am not great and sadly have not practiced in over six months. I keep trying to get to a Toastmaster's meeting or a poetry slam but just haven't been able to do it.

I have been researching what  Blogher means by voice of the year, I have found some references to the 2012 nominees so I followed them back, the link will take you to the article I found that describes it's history.  As I would like to style myself a writer I wish I had heard about this months ago I might have entered, ah well maybe I'll do that next year.

This past few days I've been having a bit of a crisis. I think I jumped into the deep end without learning to swim first. I have decided that I will withdraw from the two contests I'm in and try again in the next cycle. I'm just not ready to write a whole short story let alone an epic. I still think if you want to be in the company of writing peers then you should check out Write On!. I am learning a lot there.

Sunday, 24 March 2013

March 24 - Sunday Thoughts

Have you ever watched Glee? I love musical theatre and that is what drew me to watch it on my beloved NetFlix. What I wasn't prepared for was the equisitly drawn characters and it's open and frank talk about what modern students face in highschool these days.

As a graduate of 1978, I saw the beginnings of some of these trends and it saddens me that we  as parents have carried so many of our prejudices into the modern day and passed them to our children in such virulent ways. I remember the harassment of the senors on the juniors but I do not remember such a distinct line between the various members of the student body.

Mind I was a loner, aside from some involvment with the Christian Fellowship group, I didn't mix much with my fellow students outside my classes...

Even now I find myself avoiding writing about the topic that sparked this essay and the mention of Glee and that is homosexuality in it's various flavours. I remember refering to my gym teacher as a dyke though I do not think I knew what that meant I'd just heard her referred to that way. She was referred to in that way because she was strong and athletic and quite demanding of her students.

When I did look it up I found a reference to a warrior goddess and she did remind me of one of those so I never made the connection.

In the same way a friend of mine wanted to become a nurse, that the friend was male should not be a surprise. What I remember thinking is he must be queer, which makes him safe. I do not know if I actually articulated to myself what I meant by queer. It didn't matter aside from the fact that it made him safe. Safe males were hard to come by in my life at that time.

Forget about someone actually appearing queer in those days, it just wasn't done. Such people did not exist in our world at that time. In Glee I saw that not much has changed for the queer person even in today's more open society. Your sexual preference and obviously your peer group choices mark you more clearly as different. Which in turn leads to bullying.



This is incomplete but I am having a heck of a time concentrating today.

Saturday, 23 March 2013

March 23

When I opened up this page this morning for the first time since the first of the month there was no prompt on it neither a NaBloPoMo nor one I had chosen for myself. Any writer will tell you that seeing a blank page can be intimidating. Since today I am committed to trying to get the major part of my short story outline done this is double scary for me. What if I can't do it? What if a planned short story is impossible for me. If a planned short story is impossible how much more unlikely am I going to be able to complete even a novella or a novel. The acid in my stomach reflects this fear.

Writing planned anything is not what I do, in most anything I write it is off the cuff and sometimes I get lucky and it actually turns out pretty good. of course when you actually put time in to write & rewrite and edit a decent piece can become a superb one it's just not what I do, or at least not what I've done.

The courses and contest I've signed up for are meant to help me with that as well as to get me into the habit of writing every day. It is also why I joined NaBloPoMo for the first month on this new blog because I want, need to get in the habit of writing every single day for several hours every day if I am to get all of the stories in my head told in decent style.

So I have managed to write quite a few words, I am encouraged, perhaps today will not be the bust I feared.

Friday, 22 March 2013

NABLOPOMO- Day 22


Talk about an opportunity you let pass you by.

I have let many opportunities pass me by, sometimes because I thought the risk was unacceptable and other times out of sheer stupidity. Sometimes when an opportunity presents itself we do not see it as such, we consider it as being of little or no consequence until we think back many years later and think what if I had taken that road instead of the one I took.

Perhaps the one opportunity I regret the most is not finishing even one semester of college. I was smart enough and I was doing well in my classes. One day I had to write a math test. I had a cheat sheet and I was allowed to use the text book so it should have been a simple thing except that it wasn't.

I sat down at the testing desk and read the first question but it was like trying to read a foreign language that I didn't know. I read that question three times and each time I drew a complete blank, I had no idea even how to start. Instead of just skipping it and going to the next question, I panicked. I grabbed by books and papers and headed to the admissions office to tell them I quit.

I did too; I was out of the college in less than three days and headed home. Why do I consider this a lost opportunity, well aside from the educational benefits I could have garnered, I was studying programming. I took a test about twenty years later to determine rather I would be a good fit for Network Engineering or Programming. Turns out I would have made one hell of a good programmer had I stuck with it.

And no I didn't take the training then either, I couldn't afford the tuition, so here I am someone who could have been out there helping develop things like Windows, could have been on the leading edge of the C/C++ language and instead I am a broken down middle aged woman who writes about what she could have been.


Thursday, 21 March 2013

NABLOPOMO- Day 21

How do you feel after you don't do something due to the risk?

I do a lot of second guessing, wondering if I chose the right path. This is going to be a very short entry because I am getting low on inspiration and need to play a little, surf a little, basically get away from writing for the rest of the day. I think I am going to have to create a set of entries I can substitute for days like this.

Be well and see you tomorrow!

Wednesday, 20 March 2013

NABLOPOMO- Day 20

by Cheryl Marois

Spring Equinox

Today we will have reached one of the points in the year when our day and our night are exactly the same length. As a Libra I think of this as a very important point of the year. Everything is in balance and I can decide rather the next six months are going to be active, healthy months or lazy, sick months.

This year things are looking up and I am thinking that between now and the next equinox in September that I will accomplish a lot of stuff that I've been wanting to do. You see last September I had reached a point in my life where I just didn't care much about anything.

I had a bedbug infestation, I was a long way from home and I missed my family. I had just given notice to my landlord and was in the process of moving my stuff out of my room into a garage where it would spend the winter to decontaminate. I was moving into a situation that I knew was chaotic and was not really looking forward to such a drastic change. On top of that I had been tasked to help my daughter & SIL get out of a major finacial crunch they were in my taking over the finacial side of things.

As the Autumn Equinox came and went I lost much of my energy and will. I did manage to mean what was expected of me for the first few months and then I started getting sicker & sicker. Part of that is winter it works on me, making me sad with all that black & white. Now as spring approaches I feel new energy and hope. I have weathered the storm for now.

So I decided that today I would make a promise to myself. I would make this next six months count as a happy time, a productive time. Earlier this week I wrote about what I planned to do over the next quarter. This is my contract with myself to see those things done.

I, Cheryl Marois will spend the remainder of March and months of April through September writing every day. By April 15th I will have my first short story in 2nd draft. I will have completed the remaining poems for the Poetry book by April 30th. I will have the Final draft of the first story done and sent into Shadow Express by May 15th. I will be in the 1st draft of the Woulf Story by May 30. Layout for the Poetry Book and it's first draft as a complete piece will be completed by June 15. Woulf will be in 2nd draft by June 30
The Poetry book will be ready for publishing by July 1st. Woulf will be in in final draft by July 30. Woulf will be ready for publishing by August 30.

I think I'm going to have to make this into a table so that it is clearer for me to understand and then I need to make sure I post the schedule up so I can keep to it. I do not know if I will send either of the books to a publisher to see if I can gain a wider audience for them but I will have copies of books I made in my own library. I will just be glad to have the stories finally told in some form.

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

NaBloPoMo - Day 19

Rather than talk about a web site I wish I had started I'd like to share a few of my favorite ones.

Write On! is a web site for serious writers or those who want to be serious writers. Like many of the sites I use I found it a long time ago and then came back to it when the tide of my life turned me in the right direction. Right now I am taking a couple of free classes here since I don't have the money for the expensive ones. I am not complaining though, I am being mentored by other writers who have been doing it for awhile and that makes it  more imformative in my opinion. If you want to check out some of my writing click here to go to my Portfolio

StumbleUpon is where I go when I need to fill up my imagination. I never know where it will take me. I chose some categories I liked and when I click the button it will take me to a new site or a new place on an old site. This link will take you to a list of places I have given thumbs up to : Likes


Flickr I could hardly do a entry about my favorite places without adding Flickr. I have a lot of Photos here and am beginning the long process of putting all of the others there for safe keeping. I won't delete them from my computer but will be using Flickr as my back-up. On top of the storage abilities this site also provides me fodder for some of my digital art. If you search you can find antique prints, clipart and other things here that are free for personal use. and here is my portfolio, it contains photos, art cards and many other things that I have created

Monday, 18 March 2013

NaBloPoMo - Day 18

Talk about a tangible item you wish you had invented.

Painkillers! Acetaminophen!

Laughter or a good book can get my mind off the pain for a little while. Writing does too but then a day will come when both body and brain are screaming, what do you do then?

I ussually start by drinking an eight ounce glass of water, cause the water will help if I'm dehydrated. I will usually give the water an hour to work unless it is a really bad day then I might pop painkillers while I'm drinking it.

Let me be clear here I take nothing stronger than Tylenol Extra strength 500mg pills. The T1's as they are called do not help with the Fibro pain in fact I've noticed when I have tried them that they make the pain multiply. The same with any other pain killer that relies on Narcotics to reduce the pain. If I remember correctly it is because the narcotics work on the pain sensors in the brain numbing them but fibro is not muscle pain. I think it is about nerve endings and if there is really nothing that stops them from screaming.

So yes if I could have invented anything I wish I could have invented Acetaminophen! It is also the most common medicine used for arthritis patients and even some heart patients . I dno't know how it works and I don't really want to I'm just glad it does.

Sunday, 17 March 2013

March 17 Sunday Thoughts


Happy St Patricks Day!

 National Nutrition Month- Here are an  infographic from my pininterest 

Saturday, 16 March 2013

March 16

We are in the last half of the last month of the first quarter of the year. Today I am going to spend some time planning the next quarter.

MonthGoalDue Date
APRIL To make daily blog entries
To establish a monthly schedule for blog posts
To complete rquirements for I Write, PDG and other groups at Write on!
Establish a daily 20 minute walk
Complete $30 writing course
Complete Poetry Practice
Sign up for grammar & punctuation classes at Write On!
Establish a dedicated writing area in my room and use it!
Finish Rough Draft of  3 chapters of Woulf
Finish Cassandra as a short story

April 30
MAY To make daily blog entries
To complete rquirements for I Write, PDG and other groups at Write on!
Complete with 100 % both the Grammar & the Punctuation Classes I am taking
Supplement the Classes at Write On! with Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation and English Grammar 1 & 2
Finish Rough Draft of  3 chapters of Woulf
JUNE To make daily blog entries
Finish Rough Draft of  3 chapters of Woulf

As you can see my big focus over the next quarter is my writing. I have a lot to say & it is time I said it. At the same time I do not want this blog to become like the last one in which all I did was complain. This blog and my goal for life in 2013 is to create a monument to creativity in all of it's forms. For me at this moment that means my writing.

Friday, 15 March 2013

NaBloPoMo - Day 15

Debbie from Think back Thursday left me a message back near the first of the month which I didn't read until today and since I have a couple of perfect pictures for this weeks prompt I figured I'd do today's entry on spring

Spring

Small changes show at first.
Snow and ice melt away.
Small patches of yellow
seem to come from nowhere.
Shiny new, hard green buds
start appearing on trees,
soon new leaves will be there.

Spring is
Sunshine and rain
Displaying a new world
Revive

Spring
Wonderful, Warm
Encourage, Relax, Unwind
Makes me feel alive
Refreshing

Thursday, 14 March 2013

NaBloPoMo - Day 14

I need to step outside the topic for the week today. I spent a very restless night and I need to write about it.

I have alluded to health issues several times over the past month and that is what I need to do. Ontario Disability has a process that takes a long time but which allows the client to obtain much needed assistance and medications. I have applied to them mainly because I would love to be able to get and keep a job I can't.

I have Fibromyalgia and Dysthymia. Yes I will explain those for people that do not know what they are. 
This is the description you will find at the above link for Fibromyalgia : 

Fibromyalgia (FM or FMS) is characterised by chronic widespread pain and allodynia (a heightened and painful response to pressure).[1] Its exact cause is unknown but is believed to involve psychological, genetic, neurobiological and environmental factors.[2][3] Fibromyalgia symptoms are not restricted to pain, leading to the use of the alternative term fibromyalgia syndrome for the condition. Other symptoms include debilitating fatiguesleep disturbance, and joint stiffness. Some patients[4] also report difficulty with swallowing,[5] bowel and bladder abnormalities,[6] numbness and tingling,[7] and cognitive dysfunction.[8] Fibromyalgia is frequently comorbid with psychiatric conditions such as depression and anxietyand stress-related disorders such as posttraumatic stress disorder.

Dysthymia was something I had never heard of until my doctor told me that the life-long depression I've had has a name.

Dysthymia (English pronunciation: /dɪs.ˈθaɪ.miː.ə/), also known as neurotic depressiondysthymic disorder, and chronic depression, is a mood disorder consisting of chronic depression, with less severe but longer lasting symptoms than major depressive disorder.[1] The concept was coined by Dr. Robert Spitzer (an editor of the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-III)) as a replacement for the term "depressive personality" in the late 1970s.[2]According to the DSM's definition of dysthymia, it is a serious state of chronic depression, which persists for at least 2 years; it is less acute and severe than major depressive disorder.[3] As dysthymia is a chronic disorder, sufferers may experience symptoms for many years before it is diagnosed, if diagnosis occurs at all. As a result, they may believe that depression is a part of their character, so they may not even discuss their symptoms with doctors, family members, or friends.
Add to this menopause and you get some idea of why I feel I am unable to get or hold a job. Some days just getting out of my bed can be a chore and getting dressed is tricky because all that bending and pulling starts my back to aching. I am hoping that I have been able to explain to the Board what a typical day is like for me but I got to thinking maybe I shouls write out my arguments if I have to fight them for it and that is what todays blog entry is going to be.

My Arguments for the Board

  1. Getting out of bed hurts some days and can take up to five minutes. It often feels like I've been wrestling in my sleep and gotten slammed to the mat several times
  2. I try to get dressed every day but there are some days when I'd rather go naked because even the lightest cloth feels like a brillo pad on my skin
  3. I can manage stairs, I don't really have much choice I live on the top floor of a house and my daughter lives on the middle floor. I always hold the hand rail and go very slowly because I am afraid of falling. Walking on the sidewalk after a snow storm is terrifying and it takes me a half an hour or more to cover three or four blocks
  4. I can't tell if I have a kidney infection or any other infection below my shoulders because the pain is constant. I was thinking how to describe the pain, in fact it feels like someone is running a rake across my shoulders and like I'm wearing a belt of nails, points against the skin in my lower back, between them someone is applying a hot iron.
  5. My hands have no strength and I need to use an electric can opener to open cans and even then I run into issues because I can't get the cutting blade on the can right
  6. As long as the cooking of a meal requires a minimum of effort I can feed myself but honestly I'd probably live on TV dinners if it weren't for my daughter
  7. I can sit and stand but need to alternate them often  to releif the pressure on my hips and knees
  8. I need a seat in the shower because I can't stand long enough to get properly clean, since I don't have one right now I shower only about once a month.
  9. I sleep between 10 and 12 hours a day, more as an attempt to avoid the pain than for any real need.
  10. I take an average of twelve Tylenol Extra Strength on a bad day and as few as four on a good day
  11. While losing some weight might give me great benefit the plain fact of the matter is that it requires energy and I don't have any
I was sure I had more than that but I suppose I've covered pretty much everything I can think of right now.



Wednesday, 13 March 2013

NaBloPoMo - Day 13

If you didn't have to be concerned about money or expertise, what would be your ideal job?

My ideal job? It is tempting to be facetious here and I suppose it would be the proper response but I mean to look at this seriously.

My ideal job would take all of my hard earned service skills, computer skills, and design skills and roll them into a nice neat package. I could see myself in advertising or web design for SOHO people. Why SOHO because I want to be able to treat my clients like people and not have to get all politically correct. I don't do politically correct well at all. Also I believe that these are the business owners who are largely ignored by big agencies because they just don't have the right size budget.

My partner made a similar choice back in his 20's. He worked for one of the big three in the computer repair business and decided that he would rather devote his energies to non-profits because that was where he could help the most. As of today he has been out of the corporate for profit world for 20 years and loving it.

For the same reason he chose non-profit I prefer dealing with small office, home office companies. Because that is where I can do the most good and be of the most help.

Of course I don't have any schooling to back my skills and I am not actively seeking work due to the health issues I have alluded to before. Still it is a grand dream!

Tuesday, 12 March 2013

NaBloPoMo - Day 12

What is getting in the way of you reaching for your dreams?

Me!

Does that seem like too simple an answer? Let me share with you my thoughts on the matter.

I have been called a dilettante which is a nice way of saying I am a dabbler. I learn enough of one thing to produce one or two good pieces, not excellent, of work then I move on to something else and start again.

I have been like this for a long time. Once when I was in my teens I swore I would always be a student and that is what I have been. As you saw from yesterdays post I have a lot of skills I can call upon and that was just the short list.

I call myself non-competitive others just call me lazy. Myself, I just don't like confrontation and though I will try to beat my games I don't try to beat the other players. I just don't like the thought that I might make someone mad or hurt their feelings

As you can imagine that prevents me from advancing very far in any business. Business when done right is very competitive and when I reach that level I pull back and move on to something new.

So short and sweet, what gets between me and reaching my dreams ... me!

Monday, 11 March 2013

NaBloPoMo - Day 11

Next week kicks off BlogHer Entrepreneurs conference, a meeting of minds for women who "want to start something." Tell us what you'd love to start.

I would like to start all kinds of things... but mainly I have this crazy idea that I would like to have a small home run business. One that involves all of the things I know from party planning, to gift baskets, to ebay sales to knitted toys and cloth dolls

I have suppliers what I don't have it any way to get the word out or to compete with existing businesses. I don't want a lot of business just to make a couple hundred extra bucks a month.  Its not like I lack ideas, what I seem to lack is competitiveness and the cost of start-up.  In my case that would be at least $1500

Any way that is what I would like to start

Sunday, 10 March 2013

Day 10

Phenomenal Woman
I'm a Woman
Phenomenally,
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
So Mote It Be!

Dumb
Come inside son your going to get wet
It's OK dad. its dry under this tree


I did not know what to put here today so I thought maybe I would share an old Collage or two.

Saturday, 9 March 2013

Day 9

Here it is Saturday again. I've been babysitting and playing Farmville all day so I haven't really made anything special for today. Though I did find an interesting infographic on facebook today. Here it is! Hope you find it as interesting and informative as I did.


Friday, 8 March 2013

NaBloPoMo - Day 8

Do you always look before you leap?

Hmmm, No not really. I tend to act on impulse. Though I have to say that as I get older I have been taking a little time to plan ahead, though seldom more than a day or two.


Thursday, 7 March 2013

NaBloPoMo - Day 7- Think Back Thursday

Thanks to Think back Thursday for the lesson today. It was about making Mosaics in Picasa. I have not actually done that yet but I do have a few that I did using a similar online Mosaic maker from Flickr. I will share one of them now and after I download Picasa I will make one using it and add it to this message. Done See Below.


Dandelions
I chose dandelions cause if my dog's shedding is any indication spring is on the way

This is the one I created using Picasa this afternoon. The photos are of our Princess GD#2 BTW that is GD #1 with her in the bottom right corner she is usually called Sarebear

Wednesday, 6 March 2013

NaBloPoMo - Day 6

Risk is such a personal thing... sometimes what I would consider a big risk someone else would just shrug an say why?

One of the riskiest things we can do is to step outside our self absorption and connect with the people around us. Such a simple thing as making eye contact with a stranger scares us to death.

Why? Because if we make that simple connection we feel obligated to follow it up with a word or two. Trust me on this the person you are exchanging glances with is as unsure of you as you are of them.

We westerners have become so insular over the past 5 decades or so that we can no longer even connect on an individual level. Yes computers are partially to blame as is the terrorist attack on our neighbours to the south but that isn't all of it.

I remember when a party was something you did just because you wanted to spend time with your friends and I remember Christmas as a time when we helped a friend who would have been alone for the holiday have a good time. I remember when strangers were just people we hadn't met yet. Friendships were easier to make and so much harder to break than what passes for friendship now.

For you looking a stranger in the eye may be a big risk but you know what... just sharing the glance means nothing. Nod hello or smile, that will help you feel better and may even give them a spirit lift.

Its a simple thing, so easy to do but we are so afraid that we have forgotten that were it not for good neighbours some people would have been lost back in the day.


Tuesday, 5 March 2013

NaBloPoMo- Day 5

I would like to share with you a couple of poems I've done this year about weight loss. The first is a French ballade the second a duet. The title links will take you to their respective pages on Write On! and this one will take you to my portfolio there. I hope you enjoy my poetry.

Gotta Get My Weight down

When I found out I was obese I cried
It's a lie that your jolly when your fat
I lost count of how many times I tried
To follow this exercise plan or that
Walking in place, and push-ups on the mat
Yet regardless of that I am still round
In spite of that even my bones are fat
Gotta keep trying to get my weight down

I'm continually dissatisfied
I've given up hope and thus the combat
I have surrendered completely my pride
They say eat complex carbs but avoid fat
Follow the rules, you'll be glad you did that
Truly I understand how this will sound
But I'm the person they are looking at
Gotta keep trying to get my weight down

Thank you to the Canadian Food Guide
And for all that on line peer to peer chat
There can be a downside and an upside
All in all there is an easy format
Do a bit of this and a bit of that
Then sooner or later you aren't so round
Eventually you won't be so fat
Gotta keep trying to get my weight down

One day at a time is where it is at
All that is needed is to move around
And congratulate yours truly for that
Gotta keep trying to get my weight down

Duet: No Working Title

Skinny girl: Look at her working so hard
Can't for the life of me figure out why 

Chubby girl: Work those hips, swing em wide
Hey skinny bitch step aside

Skinny girl:Exercise seems kinda unhealthy
Especially all the time

Chubby girl:What she doesn't know is
Some day she could look like me

Skinny girl:I'm striving so hard to get ahead
I just don't have the time to play

Chubby girl:Once I looked like that too
I worked hard strove to get ahead

Skinny girl:Who is she kidding that won't happen to me
Maybe her metabolism is slow
Or maybe she just doesn't have my get up and go

Chubby girl:But late nights and fast food did a number on me
I thought I would be safe
But unhealthy habits caught up with me

Skinny girl:I don't worry, cause I don't care
Nothing sticks here

Chubby girl:Working out and a careful diet
has given me back some of myself

Skinny girl:Oh dear god, whats going on
I think I'm having a heart attack

Chubby girl:After months of bed rest
When I had a heart attack

Monday, 4 March 2013

NaBloPoMo- Day 4

Do you believe the saying that with great risks come great rewards?

Yes!

I suppose I could leave it at that but just to answer in the affirmative does not seem like enough.

It has been my experience that sometimes you have to stick your neck way, way out there and take the chance it is going to be cut off. A case in point. A few years back I joined Toastmasters because I wanted to learn how to speak in front of a crowd. The first speech you give is an introductory one. The usual process is to concentrate on one or two things that show the kind of person you are. Never one to follow the rules to the letter I ended up writing a rap type speech that basically put my whole life history out there for these strangers to judge. As it happened that wasn't such a bad thing because I ended up getting a trophy out of it and one of the listeners actually asked if they could have a copy of it as they wanted to do something similar. I figured what the heck! I don't know if she ever turned it into an actual rap song or used it for something else. It doesn't really matter. If I had not taken the chance and done that paticular speech in that paticular way I would not have gotten the trophy and I would not have been approached and asked to share my work.

Here below I would like to share the text of that speech and the picture I took of me & the trophy.
2004
Three or four aspects of my life
Will give a little clue
To whom this woman is
That stands before you

So I have prepared
A litany of my strife
If you care to hear
About my life

Madame Chairperson, fellow toastmaster, honoured guests

I was a single mother before it became trendy and became a grandmother in my 30's. I have two children, a 26 year old daughter and a 25 year old son

The best thing about having children is I'm old enough to have lived life and young enough to still enjoy it

They did give me beautiful grand-daughters; One is six and the other is three
I always like it when we get together because I love to cook but need an excuse these days

I presently live with my daughter and oldest grand-daughter. Sara, my grand-daughter and I spend a lot of time together. I help her with her school work and we do crafts together. She is a good student and does well in school

My other grand-daughter, Breanna, I seldom see Her mother and my son are no longer together and there are other problems there. At least he didn't marry her.

I did get married once but it ended badly, I worked, he didn't. I started to expand my mind, he didn't want me to. After five years I had had enough

I've been common-law twice since then. Once to a drunk and the second time to a very special man. He is still part of my life though we no longer live together

Alcohol, cigarettes
I've been their pet
Marijuana and hash
Tried too, you bet

Depression, suicide
I've been there
My partner taught me
That people still care

With his guidance
I found a way
To survive
And enjoy each day

Though I miss him
And his cheer
His life is there
And mine is here

I graduated Grade 12 and received a special teachers award for sheer tenacity. I was after all 7 months pregnant on my final day of high school. I started college that fall in the computer science course but didn't finish the first semester I guess I wasn't ready

Many years and much recrimination later my partner suggested I might give systems and networking a try. That didn't work so well but it did help me rediscover computers

I got a computer and began to play around a bit with it I found I really like to be creative on the computer

This was a necessary realization. It has guided my footsteps ever since. The discovery of my creative side opened a lot of choices I hadn't realized I had

The only thing I like better than cooking is creating something But then I have always been a creative cook

For my 40th birthday my partner bought me a digital camera I seldom leave home without it

I take an average of 200 pictures a month. In order to put my pictures into some kind of order and retain the memories I began to create scrapbook pages

This led me to embelishments for the pages. In turn this led me to making art photos, calendars and cards

This led me to creating original paintings and drawings with my mouse. I can't draw a straight line with a pencil but I can with my computer and a mouse

Here in this town
Scenery abounds
My camera by my side
My joy resounds

Take a picture
Turn it into art
Oh waht pleasure!
It fills my heart

But to pay the bills
I needed a career
So I'm becoming
A restauranteer

Oh and a poet as well as you can tell

I am a Jill of all trades, mistress of none yet

I have worked at everything from baby sitting to network consulting. From welding to catering, and from a warehouse floor to cashier at Tim Horton's

I am between positions at the moment but expect to be working again soon. Once I'm working, I will begin the Arts course I'm interested in. In five years I hope to be working in Computer Animation. Maybe creating advertising for restaurants!

Now I've had my say
Though a bit zany
This is my life
This is my litany

Madame Chairperson



Sunday, 3 March 2013

Day 3


Trees 

covered in frosting 

make me glad to be alive

 
This is what the trees by my driveway looked like after the last big snow storm. They were so pretty I just had to take a photo. BTW these are the actual colors of that morning all I did to this photo is crop it so that all you saw was the trees.

Saturday, 2 March 2013

Day 2

At NaBloPoMo the topic this month is risk and a lot of my entries this month will be associated with that topic but for today and every weekend this month I will be talking about a myriad of other things.

Starting with why I call this blog Creative Indulgences.

I fancy myself a creative. In the fifty odd years I have been alive I have done many creative things, none of which have ever made me money but that is not the reason I make stuff. I can't "not" make something. I've tried. The longest I have ever gone without getting creative with something is about a week. So Creative because  almost everything I do is creative in one way or another.

Indulgences implies decadence and giving into your wants. I have finally reached a point in my life where I have few responsibilities so I choose to indulge my wants. What are my wants?

I want to write a book preferably of poetry since that is my first love but I also have a couple of short story ideas and one that is probably going to be a Novella if not a full fledged Novel. I am also working on an autobiography because I find myself wondering about my parents and grand-parents childhoods so I thought I would share mine with my grandchildren.

I want to do spoken word and story-telling and maybe even a bit of improv. My fondest dream has always been of me up on a stage giving a talk about something people wanted to hear about. As I progress through the month I hope to work myself up to at least the spoken word part of the dream. There is a venue in the city I live in that has an open mic poetry night once a month, my goal is to get up there on that stage and tell one of my story poems.

I want to make fifty two dolls all out of different materials and in different styles from a plain little dotee to a soft sculpture art doll. I am going really slow on that one because the materials, unless I make my own, can be quite expensive. I have the time I just don't have a whole lot of money.

I have a long list of other projects that I want to make as well but because I deal with depression and fibromyalgia on a daily basis I move quite slowly. And truth be told I don't take risks.

That last has turned me into a homebody who only goes out when they have to and never if the weather is bad. That the word Risk turned up this month is not a coincidence I think. I have yet to choose a word for the year but that one is definitely a candidate.

Friday, 1 March 2013

NABLOPOMO- Day 1

NaBloPoMo March 2013

Question of the Day: Do you think it's better to play it safe or to take risks?

Pro Con
Playing it safe prevents unwelcome dangers
Risk can lead to new insights
A small risk can bring huge benefits
Playing it safe makes life boring
Risk can be dangerous
A small risk can bring huge consequences

It is a hard question to answer because of that third point. The uncertainty of the outcome is what makes a risk, a risk.

I used to take risks all the time. I drank, I smoked, I fornicated indiscriminatly but as I grew older I found myself pulling back, playing it safe. I reached the point where I did not go out if the weather was bad in any way. I mean even a light rainfall was enough to keep me inside and in front of this computer.

I still do that a lot. I live in the snow belt and on days when there is snow or ice on the sidewalks I stay inside even if it means missing an important meeting or three. I used to blame it on my depression but now I think that is not the truth or at least not the whole truth.

Age has something to do with it but mainly I have become afraid. Afraid I will hurt myself and no one will be there to help me. Afraid that if I let loose and do the things I really want to do my family will lock me up or the cops will. Afraid that if the risk brings positive results I will not be able to live up to the expectations of others. Afraid in other words of success and of failure, though in truth I would say success is the more terrifying option.

If you succeed once people are going to expect you to keep succeeding, to do more. At least that is what my mind keeps telling me. "You don't want to be the nail that sticks out". That is true of a lot of people I know. They do not want to be thought of as good at what they do because they will get hammered down some how.

I am sure everyone has heard this spoken in one way or another. It is why the world isn't shiny and bright any more but covered in dull gray and brown mud. No one wants to be the nail that sticks out. Ok, not no one but very few actually step outside their comfort zone and do something brand new just because they want to and can.

It really is a shame that we have come to accept that average is just right and that taking a risk is :) risky business ie dangerous

I really would like to start taking more risks in my life. I am bored to tears, with that in mind I am working on a calendar of sorts which will help me take one small risk every day. It will be available here (free, this blog) I hope by April 1st and no this is not an April Fools joke.